October 2011
I'm not a morning person →
ow.ly
When my family wakes up they’re all:
When I wake up I’m like:
What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws and one is a pause at the end of a clause.
Pretending not to know someone you just met, when actually you secretly stalked every photo album of them on Facebook before meeting them:
On the outside: Hi, nice to meet you!
On the inside: Hello, Chris Adam Johnson, born June 23, 1988 whom has 3 brothers Paul, Will, and Michael. You have 13 photo albums on Facebook….
You had me at "I hate that bitch too"
